Trump Victory Makes Me Feel A Bit Better - But I'm Not Sure My Brain Agrees

There Are Possibilities For A More Secure World If POTUS 47 Is Genuinely Different to POTUS 45

Oh dear, Kamala Harris fell out of her coconut tree.

The ultimate election result? Trump 312, Harris 226.

The poor woman was very much “encumbered by what had been”, namely her crappy record and her erstwhile boss’ growly old-man fist-fight threats to half the country. Why I oughta!

In comes Donald Trump - but with what implications for us here at “Worst Year Ever”?

Well, Trump likes to say he’ll drain the swamp, but last time he actually hired a swamp - John Bolton, Nikki Hayley, Mike Pence, and sundry officials who went to jail. This time, he’s not exactly draining the swamp either but he’s doing… well, he’s doing what I do when I try to make soup - he’s boiled the swamp, flicked some scuzz off the top, then left it sitting around. Maybe it’s unfair to compare Mike Pompeo to my cookery - I mean, my oxtail swamp never tried to murder Julian Assange.

For their part, the Democrats decided the best election strategy was to make more swamp - unecessarily embracing Israel’s genocide along with endorsements from Iraq War horrorshows Dick Cheney and David Frum. The comedian Jon Stewart - one of them genuinely sane Dems - pleaded on telly with Kamala’s running mate Tim Waltz not to be such a craven fool, but it was too little, too late. 

The motto of Trump’s hero President Ronald Reagan was "peace through strength". After the debacle that was fleeing Afghanistan, the verbal-only attempts to restrain Israel’s genocide, and the non-committal blood-bath in Ukraine, the Democrat’s equivalent seems more like "imperialism through weakness". 

So, Trump II is clearly a better result than a Kamala victory, right? Well, he at least sounds sane on the Ukraine war, whereas Kamala was just drifting further and further towards escalation. Last month, Volodimyr Zelensky was secretly asking President Biden for the highest calibre missiles (Tomahawks) - the Pentagon put the kibosh on that, but you know what they say? Aim for the stars and you may hit Moscow with heavy ordnance.

Although Trump is apparently just as hawkish as the Democrats on Israel, I'm going to make a guess - based on limited information - that he'll be less bad. Sceptics say he has told Israel PM Benjamin Netanyahu to “finish the job” but, in fairness, this at least suggests he wants an end to it - and reportedly by January 20th.

I can only hope that i am correct with my optimistic take on Trump’s mental state, his recognition that he hired some “bad people” last time, and how he’ll handle international politics. 

For those fretting that some pressure could have been applied to the Democrats on things like climate change and warmongering I'd just ask... when? When has that happened whatsoever in the past decade or three? Even the fledging efforts on climate have drifted into the never-never. Jon Oliver made this case again on the eve of the election - but, for me, the fig-leaf is deadlier than the hemlock. 

At a more reactive level, I find the Democrats such a bunch of hyper-virtuous, hyper-ventilating toddlers. It was all insincere crap from Beyonce and Eminem, Kalama's word salads, bad faith video edits, then chummy sketches on SNL. No, I didn’t want "four years in my pajamalas watching rom-kamalas" - and nor would it have been: it'd be constantly trying to circumventamala the censorship imposed by her CIA-tech dickheads chums who dictate speech online. I hardly expect that to improve over the next four years but, just maybe, the Musk-Trump “free speech” ideals could stop things getting worse.

The Republican Party remains hard right and Christian fundamentalist. But at least it’s no longer the party of reflexive war. And as snake oily as our Donald is, there is some genuine grassroots working class support now - in the election, 60% of his voters earn less than $100,000 a year, whereas Kamala Harris scored higher with the people earning over that. In other words, the Democrats are more insufferable than they’ve ever been and the Rhinos are a bit less elitist than they always were.

I’d also like to see a Home Alone sequel with Trump back in a bigger role. Perhaps Kevin gets abandoned in Washington DC by his feckless pro-choice mother, again, and he stumbles on the White House - then buddies up with The Donald to stop a pair of swarthy burglars trying to eat the President’s dogs. The hilarious pair could improvise booby traps in the Lincoln Bedroom.

What does that all add up to? Well, E.M Forster once called for “Two Cheers For Democracy”. On this particular outing for the Greek ideal across the pond, I wouldn't go that far. Given Trump’s utter lack of interest in climate change and his apparent attempt at insurrection back in 2021, too, I wouldn't even stretch to one cheer. But half a cheer? Sure.

PS. I also did a song about Kamala Harris to the tune of Nellie The Elephant: